12 years go today, the person who gave me life , took her last breath in my arms and left me. I felt as though my heart would stop at that moment . She had given birth to me out of wedlock ,something so shocking in the 1940’s that shame was cast on the woman and her child, who would forever be branded a bastard . She was cast out of the family home by my grandfather, a staunch roman catholic ,she had to beg a friend to give her a roof over her head until she could find a home for herself and her daughter . It would be hard in this day and age , but back then it must have been monumental. But one thing kept her going , her maternal love for her child . She was my mother , but much more than that ,she was my father , she was my sister ,she was my friend . She gave me love , she made me feel I was important, that I could be anything I wanted to be , even though we Didn’t have a thing, we had each other . So when she left me, and even though I was 64 , I felt like an orphan . Because of her, I lived and had my own children , and now grandchildren, I owe her everything and will love her until my last breath .

You never left me , you are IN me , in my children and my grandchildren,if I cut myself , I see your blood , if I look into the mirror I see your eyes , my laughter is yours , my forgiveness is yours , my kindness is yours , no ,you never left me mum ❤️

Miss you so much still mum, I wonder if the pain will ever leave me xx